i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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