You really coming over, don't trick.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
