im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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