I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
