You really coming over, don't trick.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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