so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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