I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
