so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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