I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
