on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
