Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Rumble strips road head = magical
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
