well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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