we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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