I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
