She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
