Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
