We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
