Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
