And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
