One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize