Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
