The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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