And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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