I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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