I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
