Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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