There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
