I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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