you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Someone signed my nipple.
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