he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
