i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
