i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
