hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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