I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
