It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
