Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
