you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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