we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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