Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
