Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
