Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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