dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
