My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize