I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
