omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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