I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
