How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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