You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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