Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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