Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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