Got a toothbrush?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
