I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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