i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
