Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
