Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
