We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
