It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Randomize
