are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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