he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
