Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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